The Wait

So it has been a while since I've updated on our adoption process. Not because I haven't wanted to. Believe me, I could talk about it a LOT if you let me. : ) There really just isn't much new to say. Our dossier was sent in just before Christmas and while that came with lots of excitement (i.e. this) it was soon followed up by a bit of a let-down. While the paperwork and expenses were extensive and stressful at least I felt like I was doing SOMETHING to help bring our son home. At the moment we are just waiting. Waiting. Waiting. I hate that it's out of my hands now. What I wake up each day hoping to get is our referral. This will be a name, a picture and background information on what could be our future son. We  will have the opportunity to review the information, pray about the decision and then say yes or no to the little boy on our screen. I know I should never say never (right, Justin Bieber?) but I can't imagine very many scenarios where we would say no but that's the process anyway.

Here's what the dictionary has to say about waiting (I can tell you were wondering)

·         to be available or in readiness

·         to look forward to eagerly

·         to continue as one is in expectation of

·         to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens

Check, check, check and check. We are WAITING. And I'm not a fan. A friend recently send a kind donation and with it was this necklace that basically sums it all up for me:

The heart is over the spot in Africa that we will be heading....Kinshasa. Oh the longing for that little heart.

I was looking into a t-shirt fundraiser we  were talking about and they had some listed under the theme "Paper Pregnancy". Cute, right? All my fellow adoptive mommies will totally get that. The shirts had clever sayings like:

·         So far no morning sickness but the paper cuts are terrible!

·         Motherhood: No stretch marks required

·         Fatherhood: Requires love, not DNA

I can totally related to these. I've often tried to equate the waiting for this adoption to the waiting during a pregnancy but there are some flaws in that theory. For one, when I've been pregnant I know exactly where my little one is....generally hanging on my right rib cage. I'm secure in the knowledge that the only harm being done at any given moment is that Crispy Creme donut I should have avoided that morning.

A second difference is the timeline. With a pregnancy it's pretty straight-forward, 9 months give or take. We're 8 months into this thing and don't really have any idea how much longer we could be waiting. Another 8 months? Ugh.

Another one is in appearance. While we didn't know exactly what our sweet girls would look like I could take a look at my hunky husband and glance at myself in the mirror and get a pretty good idea what might be popping out. With our son I just have NO IDEA what to imagine. I just want that picture so much! To know in my mind what I know in my heart....he's ours.

Well, I guess I've drilled in the truth about our situation right now. I'm waiting. I don't like it. I'm pouting about it. I've been so blessed by friends and family asking though. I really love that he's on your minds as he is ours. Please keep praying for him (and us). We know that all of this is in God's hands and while my impatient side balks against the unknown I do have great comfort in knowing that each day that goes by is one that God has designed to bring us one day closer to completing our family.

"And He said to them, 'It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has put in His own authority'." Acts 1:7