Out of the Fog

Ugh, what a time we've had lately.  I fell a tad bit lot bit run over by the last 13 days.  Two weeks ago Amara started in with a pretty bad sounding cough with a light wheeze.  We headed to the doctor who felt it was just cold....keep her hydrated, prop her mattress up, etc. Three days later her breathing had gotten very shallow, fast and noisy.  I wasn't comfortable sticking around the house anymore wondering if it was pneumonia, RSV, croup, etc so her and I headed to the ER.  They did a breathing treatment, deep suction and had her fall asleep to check her oxygen levels while sleeping. They were a tad low for my liking but we got sent home anyway with our very own nebulizer with breathing treatments and a prescription to come back up to four times a day for seven days to get her suctioned. Oh sure, a quick run to the ER four times a day fits perfectly in with our days....

After three days of me taking her at 6 am and 8 pm to get suctioned and NO improvements in her sleeping, eating and breathing I went back to her doctor to get another opinion about her cough.  I found it hard to believe that the ER people seemed so unconcerned. As they were doing their routine check-in stuff they did a quick look at her oxygen levels...88% (100% is where we should be).  The nurse stops a second then says....."I'll be right back." She comes rushing back with an oxygen tank.  Finally, someone with some concern over this number (which, by the way we had seen each time we checked into the ER).  Apparently at this office it is their common procedure to immediately send any baby with levels like that over to be admitted to the hospital.  A pain, yes, but honestly also a little bit of a relief.  After 8 days of me constantly on edge about her breathing, her choking and the lack of improvement I was happy to pass that worry on to the professionals.  We spent four days and three nights there where it was confirmed she had RSV and was just monitored with the aid of oxygen and fluids until we could wean her off of both. 

She was a super popular little girl...

In the mean time, my amazing husband held down the fort at home with our other two little ones who also had RSV, just not bad enough to need the aid of the hospital.  He did a wonderful job and the house was spotless when we came home, laundry done and folded, dishes put away.....how I love him!

Brecken still has it the worst but nothing like Mara had.  She tires quickly but boy does this mommy selfishly love her snuggle time while she's feeling down!

So, we're all home together and while everyone still shows signs of it, coughing, runny noses, gunky eyes, I think (PRAY) we're on the uphill side at least.

This was the first time we've had to take any of our little ones to the hospital and while it was hard, and frightening it was so much different put into the perspective of what Blake and Libby went through with their little Pax. I don't know where I thought we'd be checked in at but as I followed the nurse up to our room I started to realize that we'd be going to Paxten's floor. The one we visited her at all those months. The closer we got to those double doors opening into the pediatric wing the heavier my feet got and I fought back tears.  I didn't want to be here.  And as each day passed I would think, how did they do it for SO MANY months? I had the knowledge that Mara was probably one of the healthiest on the floor. I didn't really have to wonder if she'd pull through and we'd get to go home.  What a mental, emotional and spiritual strain that must have been hour by hour. 

Nurses recognized us from our visits or from our updates on facebook during the wost of it.  One recognized Derek's P4P bracelet on his wrist.  Everyone asked about Blake and Libby and one guy said that Paxten is still brought up at least once a day somewhere in conversation.  Paxten, Blake and Libby made an impact on that floor with each and every nurse and doctor they worked with.  What an amazing testimony to her little life and the faith of her parents.  I'm honored to call them friends and so thankful for an example of what it means to triumph in adversity.

I'm so happy to put this yuckiness behind us and to not be closed in my house anymore. We're all very stir-crazy around here! Thank you to those of you who knew about our sick little family and were praying. Thank you to a sweet cousin who went out of her way to bring us a meal so I didn't have to worry about Derek and the girls back home. Thank you also for those of you who prayed dilegently for an important court hearing Mara had when we were in the hospital. I will update on that situation soon!