Sunday, May 12, 2013

The Motherhood Spectrum

Back when I was just a teenager or young adult...or even just a young married with no kids yet, I thought of Mother's Day as just that. Mom's day. Those women who have birthed a child and are raising that child. As the years have passed though, God has opened my eyes to how very, very complex this mothering thing is. I first became a biological mother. Later, a foster mother. Which also meant that while I celebrated with her children, there was another mother whose arms were empty. Not long after, I became a mom to a miscarried baby. A new form of motherhood is born in that. One of longing for a child you never held but rejoicing for that child's life in heaven. Even later I became an adoptive mother. So now there is another mom mourning the choices and life stage that brought her loss on. What a web of mothering, choices, pain and joy.

Today a friend posted this blog post on her wall and it just hit me as so very true.

So, in honor of each of you women reading this...

The wide spectrum of mothering 

  • To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you 
  • To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you 
  • To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you 
  • To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you 
  • To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is 
  • To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you 
  • To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you 
  • To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you 
  • To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you 
  • To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience
  • To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst 
  • To those who have aborted children - we remember them and you on this day 
  • To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children - we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be 
  • To those who step-parent - we walk with you on these complex paths 
  • To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren, yet that dream is not to be - we grieve with you 
  • To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you 
  • To those who placed children up for adoption – we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart 
  • And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you

This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you. 
By Amy Young (

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