Monday, August 8, 2011

Just Some Thoughts...

A friend recently asked for a little more information about why/how we decided on adoption.  I thought I'd share some of the information I shared with her. 

Adoption has been something that I've known I wanted to be a part of since I was very young.  I'm not sure why but I always felt that it was something I was "supposed" to do.  I can only place that urge in God's hands and know that He has always been preparing me for this journey.  There are many verses pointing towards God's calling for Christians to take care of the widows and orphans and while I know that calling looks different for everyone, for us, we have decided it is through adoption.

A big question that people have is, "Why international?  Why not help a child here in the US.?"  That's a fair question and I might not have a very good answer.  I am in NO WAY opposed to domestic adoption and would welcome the opportunity to grow our family this way at some point as well.  Derek and I have been foster parents for about 2 years now.  We are licensed through Youthville and they have three options for care. Foster only, adopt only or foster-to-adopt.  We are foster-to-adopt parents. This means that, while there is no guarantee that a child will come up for adoption, if it does happen, we will have "first dibs" on becoming the legal parents.  We've had four placements since we've started and none of them have come close to being available for adoption and all have gone back to their families.  Each time we have fallen hard for our little placements but we know that our role right now is just to love them while we have them.  I have not found many foster parents who haven't also ended up adopting along the way.  I have a feeling that God will someday bring us the right child through this route.  Until then, we take our job of loving on these kids while they go through this traumatic time as an opportunity to show God's love and follow His commands.

As I've mentioned before, throughout my life I've felt this pull or calling towards international adoption. Through prayer, research, talking with my husband and facing the facts I can confidently say that this is something God has called us to.  We agree, children here in the US need Christian families.  When I think about TRUE need at a basic level, there is no doubt that other countries really have a bigger crisis with child care.  Most children needing adoption here are not left in dumps, on the edge of true starvation or put to work as a toddler.  The dangers are amplified and more critical for them to be rescued.

Another benefit I am drawn to is that we will be guaranteed to be matched with a child.  Adoption in the US is tricky and can be a long process.  You have to be chosen by a birth mom, often the birth mom changes her mind, and it is popular now to do "open" adoptions where you continue to have contact with the birth mom throughout the child's life.  While this isn't always bad thing, I have a hard time wanting to share my baby.  : )  Internationally, you will get matched, you will pick up you child and the adoption will be closed.  This doesn't by any means mean that we won't have set-backs, heartbreak and change of plans.  We know this will be a rocky road, our prayers for our boy have begun already though and we are certain that in the end we will bring home exactly the child we are supposed to have. 

I see adoption through any route you choose as an awesome responsibility but also an amazing way to be blessed.  My girls now will have the opportunity to see first hand God's commands acted out and to know what it looks like to feed, care and love the needy.  They will experience diversity, patience, love played out before them.  What more honoring way could we begin to honor Christ for his gift of a relationship with our Lord than adoption? After all, it is a direct picture of how God has adopted us, poor and needy as we are, into His family.  I will forever be grateful for that gift and the gift of whatever children he allows me to take care of on this earth, whether biologically or legally.

We have two children in heaven and while I would have loved to have held them on this earth, I have no doubts that they are at the most perfect "daycare" ever imaginable.  In turn, I look forward to the honor of taking care of one or more of God's needy here on earth and hopefully, with God's help, leading them back to heaven with Christ one day.  An opportunity they, most likely, would not receive without us.

If you've stayed with me through this I hope these rambling thoughts have at least somewhat brought a little more clarity to why we are tackling this adventure. 

1 comment:

  1. Lindsey,
    I follow your words and hold them very close to my heart. I read your email over and over again and I am still processing everything to ask more questions. I believe that God has given you such a wonderful gift in the heart He gave you and Derek. Thank you for your response and I believe it is something we will look into more after I have healed in this grieving process. I never knew the extent of my feelings until I read your words and truly started to face things head on. I know with God by my side it will be a remarkable journey, well worth every tear and smile. Much love and many prayers.