What's Next?

I'm getting a lot of questions about what's next for us and the journey we're on to bring our son home. Here's a breakdown of what we have ahead of us:

• Our case is being presented to the local court for approval. Court is usually scheduled within 1-3 months. Parents are not required to be in court.
• Following court approval, there is a 30 day appeal period before the Certificate of Non Appeal is issued. When the CNA is issued, the case then is reviewed for approval by the Ministry.
• Once all the adoption documents are complete, the next step is to file the I600 with USCIS. The time-frame to get I600 approved varies, but is currently estimated to be 3 weeks to 2 months.
• When the I600 has been approved by USCIS, we will then request an appointment from the Embassy. All documents are submitted to the Embassy for Visa processing. The visa is issued typically within 2-4 weeks, and in rare cases has taken several weeks.
• The final step is to obtain a letter from Congolese Emigration (DGM) for the child to leave the country. This process can take several days to a couple of weeks.
• Derek and I are both planning on going to the DRC to go claim our son. We will be in the capital of Kinshasa (see it there on the map?) We will be there 10-14 days and will stay at convent near the orphanage. We will bond with our sweet son, try to piece together what we can of our son's past and gather clues for him as he grows here in the US so that we can share with him his culture and homeland.
• Unfortunately, the DRC is not a particularly stable country so we will not do much travel/sightseeing if any at all. The Democratic Republic of Congo is a vast country in Central Africa. Its infrastructure has been damaged due to years of dictatorship, civil war and ethnic conflicts.  We will stick close to our room at the convent and the orphanage. Our trip will not be a vacation where we also end up with our son. It will be a rescue mission to ransom a little boy with an uncertain future in an unsafe country. Our primary goal is one less orphan. One less hurting child.

 



Sometimes the process seems more overwhelming to me now than when we began. I look at that list of what is left to be done and I start to feel stress and panic. I'm ashamed at how easy it is for me to forget how far God has brought us and to rest in his grace and faithfulness. I have moments of struggle to remember that He who has called us to this will indeed see us through. Thankfully when I am weak, He is strong and he is still writing this story. Pray for us, the Congolese government and our son!

The Referral

Fifteen very long months after we anxiously mailed our dossier to our adoption agency, the moment we've been waiting for has happened.

We've seen our son!

He is perfection. He is a gift. He is mine.

A momma knows, doesn't she? When we look at that line on the pregnancy test. And then the fuzzy skeletal outline from the sonogram pictures. And the moment the doctor places the stretched out wriggling baby in our arms. THIS child is mine. That's what this e-mail was for me and in some ways more. I waited so long and dreamed day after day and pleaded and prayed for the little boy across the world experiencing trauma and loss and fear. I ache that he had to go through that but know that without it we would not meet. And that would not be God's plan. His plan is for the wide-eyed, chubby-fingered, short-legged little boy in the picture I carry with me everywhere to be mine.

I wish I could share him now but it is not time yet. We still have to pass court in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. But I promise you he is the cutest. Seriously.

This journey has been so hard. Much more emotional and draining than I could have guessed. If I had known then what I've lived now I wonder if I would have had the courage to obey as we did then. Obedience is so hard. What seems clear one day is hazy the next. Adoption has been that way for me too. Both our domestic and international adoptions have stretched me. I've had to sacrifice so much of what I thought I wanted or even more so, deserved, to answer the call. But, I can also honestly say that there has been a new kind of joy found in that obedience. I see joy in recognizing God's hand in building our family despite my desperate attempts to do it on my own. I see joy in unabashedly loving a little girl with crazy curly hair and a passion for dance, reading, and her sisters, despite the fear of losing her one day. And I see joy in watching God's hand in this Congo adoption. As the funds have been raised, and people have stepped forward in faith to support us, and as God has shown us continually that we are on the right path. 

"I think a lot of us have a very limited concept of joy -- we tie it to what makes us feel happy. But real joy goes even deeper, and it's not always found in obvious places. Instead, it hides in corners, waiting to be discovered when we sacrifice our desires for God's desires." C. Thomas Davis
 

I'm still learning about this type of joy. One that is settled and deep and a part of who I am, and not a joy that can be blown away by one negative moment in a day. More than the joy of  what the world tells me should make me happy, but a joy so rooted in God's will for my life that it cannot be shook. I have no doubt that my little boy in the picture I clasp will have so much to teach me about joy. And, I pray that as we experience the joy of raising him that we are able to heal his broken heart and the wounds of a year of pain and show him the joy that can be found in Christ's beautiful plan for him as well.

We continue to covet your prayers as we are so far from done with this adventure. The hardest wait is just begun. The wait where every day my son gets one day older without me. Oh, sweet little boy, we're coming for you!

The Wait

So it has been a while since I've updated on our adoption process. Not because I haven't wanted to. Believe me, I could talk about it a LOT if you let me. : ) There really just isn't much new to say. Our dossier was sent in just before Christmas and while that came with lots of excitement (i.e. this) it was soon followed up by a bit of a let-down. While the paperwork and expenses were extensive and stressful at least I felt like I was doing SOMETHING to help bring our son home. At the moment we are just waiting. Waiting. Waiting. I hate that it's out of my hands now. What I wake up each day hoping to get is our referral. This will be a name, a picture and background information on what could be our future son. We  will have the opportunity to review the information, pray about the decision and then say yes or no to the little boy on our screen. I know I should never say never (right, Justin Bieber?) but I can't imagine very many scenarios where we would say no but that's the process anyway.

Here's what the dictionary has to say about waiting (I can tell you were wondering)

·         to be available or in readiness

·         to look forward to eagerly

·         to continue as one is in expectation of

·         to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens

Check, check, check and check. We are WAITING. And I'm not a fan. A friend recently send a kind donation and with it was this necklace that basically sums it all up for me:

The heart is over the spot in Africa that we will be heading....Kinshasa. Oh the longing for that little heart.

I was looking into a t-shirt fundraiser we  were talking about and they had some listed under the theme "Paper Pregnancy". Cute, right? All my fellow adoptive mommies will totally get that. The shirts had clever sayings like:

·         So far no morning sickness but the paper cuts are terrible!

·         Motherhood: No stretch marks required

·         Fatherhood: Requires love, not DNA

I can totally related to these. I've often tried to equate the waiting for this adoption to the waiting during a pregnancy but there are some flaws in that theory. For one, when I've been pregnant I know exactly where my little one is....generally hanging on my right rib cage. I'm secure in the knowledge that the only harm being done at any given moment is that Crispy Creme donut I should have avoided that morning.

A second difference is the timeline. With a pregnancy it's pretty straight-forward, 9 months give or take. We're 8 months into this thing and don't really have any idea how much longer we could be waiting. Another 8 months? Ugh.

Another one is in appearance. While we didn't know exactly what our sweet girls would look like I could take a look at my hunky husband and glance at myself in the mirror and get a pretty good idea what might be popping out. With our son I just have NO IDEA what to imagine. I just want that picture so much! To know in my mind what I know in my heart....he's ours.

Well, I guess I've drilled in the truth about our situation right now. I'm waiting. I don't like it. I'm pouting about it. I've been so blessed by friends and family asking though. I really love that he's on your minds as he is ours. Please keep praying for him (and us). We know that all of this is in God's hands and while my impatient side balks against the unknown I do have great comfort in knowing that each day that goes by is one that God has designed to bring us one day closer to completing our family.

"And He said to them, 'It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has put in His own authority'." Acts 1:7

Define Necessity

There has been a picture going around the e-mail, pinterest and e-mail world I imagine you've seen. It always helps put this time of year into perspective.  Every time I see it show up I can't help but think of our son waiting for us in the Congo. 



I also recently came across the photography of Lynsey Addario and I haven't be able to get it out of my mind and my heart. To think of our son here, in this pain and loss and fear is heart-wrenching.

I'll warn you the pictures are eye opening and painful and shocking.  It makes my heart physically
hurt. Especially in such stark contrast to the materialism of Christmas surrounding us right now.  At the bottom of her screen you can flip through the pictures.  Put your cursor over the caption button and you can read about the picture. 

This slideshow is about the Democratic Republic of the Congo:
http://www.lynseyaddario.com/#/africa/democratic-republic-of-congo/congola63

This slideshow is about rape in the Congo:

http://www.lynseyaddario.com/#/africa/rape-in-the-democratic-republic-of-congo/drcrape017

I hope this makes it how obvious the need is in the Congo.  I hope it shows you how your support of this adoption is truly helping to save a life.  Whatever role you have played in bringing our son home is vital and we cannot say thank you enough. 

One World Adoptions

So, I thought you might be interested in the organization that we chose to help us with our adoption.  After lots, and lots and lots....did I mention lots?....of research we narrowed down to three organizations that we really liked.  We sent out e-mails to families from each one and had a list of questions for each family.  It was so interesting to hear each family's experience bringing home their child.  What an adventure we know we are about to start after hearing these stories! 

After compiling information, One World Adoptions really stuck out to us as a place we'd like to work with.  Click here for their website.

Here is the link to the Congo adoption program that we will be participating in:

I've spent a lot of time talking with Terri, who will be our Program Director.  Terri has extensive experience in international adoption, and has adopted 8 children from Brazil, Haiti, Kazakhstan, and the US.  What a wonderful feeling it is to know that she truly will know what we'll be going through during this time.

While it seems forever away, we will be praying that God will eventually lead us to this orphanage to pick up our son.  From discussions with other "Congo" families, this is a really well-run orphanage and we are excited to be a part of their success.