A Heavenly Anniversary

 

 

One year ago today God called to His side the daughter of our dear friends. An entire year that those we love have not felt her tiny body in their arms. Her smell is lost. Her voice is a memory heard on videos. But she is not gone from our hearts. So much remains of sweet Paxten, that I treasure carrying each day. The lessons learned about prayer. The reminder that glory does not come without suffering. And, the added anticipation for those of us eagerly awaiting a world promised that is so much better than what we live now. Oh, what longing I have to join sweet Paxten in heaven.

 

In my Bible reading the other day I read this:

"For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. ² Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, ³ because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. ⁴ For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. ⁵ Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

⁶ Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. ⁷ For we live by faith, not by sight. ⁸ We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. ⁹ So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. ¹⁰ For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad."  2 Corinthians 5:1-10
 

Paxten has spent a year 'clothed in her heavenly dwelling'. She is 'away from the body and at home with the Lord'. We are left here to "groan and be burdened'. We long for the perfection that will be ours when we put on the glorious spiritual body and we do live by faith, not by sight. I believe in a God that loves to surprise his children. He delights in giving us more than we could ever imagine. Heaven is one of those things. I think that is part of the reason he gives so few clues in his Word. What joy He must take in ushering in each one of His children into this clothing of heavenly dwelling!

Oh Paxten, if I could tell you what this year has been I would tell you about your mommy. A woman so full of beauty and grace. Your mommy is so strong Paxten. And her strength isn't seen in a having it 'all-together' or in lack of weakness. It is seen in how she handles those moments of weakness. She seeks the Lord with all her heart. She wants to know the man whose hand you hold. She has a depth of faith and a spirit of wisdom brought on by deep hurt and surviving every mommy's worst fear. You got your fight from her, dear Paxten. She fights for her family. She fights for her God. You get to rest in the lap of Jesus each day and one day soon you'll get to lead your mommy by the hand to meet Jesus too.

I would tell you about your daddy. Paxten, you should see your daddy! A man who has endured more than should be asked of any man. To face the fears of not being able to protect his precious girl. But, with God's hand, I think he's beginning to see that he did protect you, in the only way any daddy can. By showing you Him. By striving to provide a home that loves and reflects Jesus. He let himself become open to not knowing all the answers. Your daddy knows that the truest gift of love that he can give you now is to seek Jesus wholeheartedly so that he will one day be reunited with you. You can be so proud of your daddy. He's fighting demons that satan is sending and he's brave, Paxten. He's coming to you.

And, Izzie! You're a sister Paxten and, oh my, is she perfection. A tiny bundle of hope and healing, future and joy. She gives us glimpses at you and a chance to relive your time here. To celebrate your sisterly similarities and to learn about your differences. What a gift she has in you. A big sister who embraced life with no fears in making her preferences known. Don't worry, sweet girl, we'll introduce her to Nutella and Cheetos. She'll watch Super Why and Backyardigans with mommy and do push-ups with daddy. She'll be crazy good at the ipad and be the worlds cutest cow and monkey on Halloween. We'll teach her to shriek at the top of her lungs and to make everyone who looks at her smile. We'll let her stand naked in the backyard sprinkler and run outside to watch the train each time we hear the whistle. Izzie will forever be changed because you came before her.

We miss you Paxten. We're sad for us. We wonder what you would look like, sound like, act like and we long to see you hold your baby sister. A year can be so long and so fast in the same moment. In the light of eternity it is but a blink. I pray the blinks continue so that we can all join you soon. We live by faith and not by sight.

And we're coming to you.

Renewal

Derek and I were recently very blessed to join five other couples on a special trip to help two amazing people renew their vows.

The ceremony was perfect. Officiated by a friend, intimate, tearful and laugh-filled. If you've followed the Pearson's story at all you know that their marriage has been put to the test. As I stood there I thought about how even though they've been married fewer years than most of us there that they had endured so much more as a couple. Hard questions, loss, suffering and pain. The statistics aren't positive for couples in similar situations but knowing Blake and Libby like we do it is obvious that they have only pulled closer, drawing from each other's strengths and leaning on friends and family. They are a beautiful example of God's plan for marriage and it is just another reminder of how lucky Paxten was to have them as her mommy and daddy. If anyone deserved a renewal it was them.

Blake and Libby we are honored to know you, to be your friends and to have watched your relationship flourish even when under the terrible strain of finding your way in a world without your baby girl. Looking forward to years to come!

Two Years

Today would have been Paxten's 2nd birthday. We mourn that we don't get to see her throw herself into two. We praise because she gets to have a heavenly birthday party with more joy that we can fathom here.

March 10, 2010

March 10, 2011

We miss you daily Paxten. Your squeals, your silly noises, your push-ups, your love for babies, your elephant song, your backyardigans, your excitement to see your Row-Row, your pointing, your demands for your ipad and your skinny legs running around.

We miss YOU.

Say a prayer for Blake and Libby today. This first big milestone since she went to be with Jesus is a harsh reminder of their loss. It also starts the "what's". What would she look like at 2? What new words would she know? What would be her favorite food. What would she love playing with. The "whats" will follow them for the rest of their lives. Questions that will never get answered and I can't imagine that shadow.

"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the maker of all things." Ecclesiastes 11:5

I don't understand and that can be hard. I read in a book once that "if God were small enough to be understood He wouldn't be big enough to be worshiped." That resonates with me and reminds me that when I can't figure it out, I can still worship the fact that God promises me that it will all come together as a part of His big plan and that we will all be drawn together again one day.

Have a cupcake for Pax today and celebrate all that she gave us in her short time here.

Out of the Fog

Ugh, what a time we've had lately.  I fell a tad bit lot bit run over by the last 13 days.  Two weeks ago Amara started in with a pretty bad sounding cough with a light wheeze.  We headed to the doctor who felt it was just cold....keep her hydrated, prop her mattress up, etc. Three days later her breathing had gotten very shallow, fast and noisy.  I wasn't comfortable sticking around the house anymore wondering if it was pneumonia, RSV, croup, etc so her and I headed to the ER.  They did a breathing treatment, deep suction and had her fall asleep to check her oxygen levels while sleeping. They were a tad low for my liking but we got sent home anyway with our very own nebulizer with breathing treatments and a prescription to come back up to four times a day for seven days to get her suctioned. Oh sure, a quick run to the ER four times a day fits perfectly in with our days....

After three days of me taking her at 6 am and 8 pm to get suctioned and NO improvements in her sleeping, eating and breathing I went back to her doctor to get another opinion about her cough.  I found it hard to believe that the ER people seemed so unconcerned. As they were doing their routine check-in stuff they did a quick look at her oxygen levels...88% (100% is where we should be).  The nurse stops a second then says....."I'll be right back." She comes rushing back with an oxygen tank.  Finally, someone with some concern over this number (which, by the way we had seen each time we checked into the ER).  Apparently at this office it is their common procedure to immediately send any baby with levels like that over to be admitted to the hospital.  A pain, yes, but honestly also a little bit of a relief.  After 8 days of me constantly on edge about her breathing, her choking and the lack of improvement I was happy to pass that worry on to the professionals.  We spent four days and three nights there where it was confirmed she had RSV and was just monitored with the aid of oxygen and fluids until we could wean her off of both. 

She was a super popular little girl...

In the mean time, my amazing husband held down the fort at home with our other two little ones who also had RSV, just not bad enough to need the aid of the hospital.  He did a wonderful job and the house was spotless when we came home, laundry done and folded, dishes put away.....how I love him!

Brecken still has it the worst but nothing like Mara had.  She tires quickly but boy does this mommy selfishly love her snuggle time while she's feeling down!

So, we're all home together and while everyone still shows signs of it, coughing, runny noses, gunky eyes, I think (PRAY) we're on the uphill side at least.

This was the first time we've had to take any of our little ones to the hospital and while it was hard, and frightening it was so much different put into the perspective of what Blake and Libby went through with their little Pax. I don't know where I thought we'd be checked in at but as I followed the nurse up to our room I started to realize that we'd be going to Paxten's floor. The one we visited her at all those months. The closer we got to those double doors opening into the pediatric wing the heavier my feet got and I fought back tears.  I didn't want to be here.  And as each day passed I would think, how did they do it for SO MANY months? I had the knowledge that Mara was probably one of the healthiest on the floor. I didn't really have to wonder if she'd pull through and we'd get to go home.  What a mental, emotional and spiritual strain that must have been hour by hour. 

Nurses recognized us from our visits or from our updates on facebook during the wost of it.  One recognized Derek's P4P bracelet on his wrist.  Everyone asked about Blake and Libby and one guy said that Paxten is still brought up at least once a day somewhere in conversation.  Paxten, Blake and Libby made an impact on that floor with each and every nurse and doctor they worked with.  What an amazing testimony to her little life and the faith of her parents.  I'm honored to call them friends and so thankful for an example of what it means to triumph in adversity.

I'm so happy to put this yuckiness behind us and to not be closed in my house anymore. We're all very stir-crazy around here! Thank you to those of you who knew about our sick little family and were praying. Thank you to a sweet cousin who went out of her way to bring us a meal so I didn't have to worry about Derek and the girls back home. Thank you also for those of you who prayed dilegently for an important court hearing Mara had when we were in the hospital. I will update on that situation soon!

Suffering and Glory

As we grieve the loss of Paxten and as we learn what it means to be friends to Blake and Libby at a time like this I can't help but think of how much pain there is in this world.  Children like Kyrie and Cora and now Paxten.  Why?  A book that was recommended to me after our second miscarriage was Hope by Nancy Guthrie. She talks a lot about suffering.  And the cross.  And what it means together. 

"There's only one thing that enables me to accept what I cannot understand about my suffering and the suffering of the world: the cross.  I look at the cross and the enormous suffering it represents, and I am humbled and ashamed that I think I could know better than God what is good and right and purposeful.  I see that there is a larger plan at work that my heart and my mind can barely comprehend.  But mostly, I see that the cross is the ultimate example of God's ability to work all things together for good - even the most wicked deeds ever conceived.  And if God can work together the cruel death and enormous suffering of His son on the cross to bring about the greatest good of all time, then perhaps he really can do something good in and through the suffering in our lives too." 

A friend and I were talking and struggling with the question of how to reconcile our God, that we know to be completely good, with pain and suffering and the loss of a baby, clearly so far from good?  I Peter 5:10 says, "In His kindness God called you to His eternal glory by means of Jesus Christ.  After you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation."  What is the connection between suffering and glory?  Nancy Guthrie points out that again and again in scripture, Jesus' death by crucifixion is referred to as his glorification.  For example, Jesus said, "The time has come for the Son of Man to enter into his glory" (John 12:23) but this wasn't said as he ascended into heaven; he was heading to the Cross.  Unimaginable glory was put on display through the appalling suffering of the Cross.  Suffering is glory in God's economy.  They are not at opposite ends of the spectrum (as my simple human mind has equated them) but mysteriously intertwined.   

I'm blessed and comforted by her words. My entire body still aches for Libby and Blake.  They are suffering and we, as their friends, suffer at watching their pain.  But glory will rise. I still struggle with what the next days, weeks, months and years will look like. But I know that God is and will bring about a good from this that could never have taken place before Paxten came into our lives. Just as he did when He sent his only child to die on the cross. The glory to come will be worth these wounds.  We'll be glad we followed the way of the Cross.  One day we'll experience in reality what we now embrace by faith -- that suffering is the pathway to glory. 

A while back while talking with Libby she mentioned being so grateful that so many were seeking the Lord and had mentioned that their lives had changed because of Paxten but she also had a fear that it would just be for a while.  That this would be something that would eventually fade from people's hearts. Honor Paxten's life and never forget what the Pearson's have taught us. I hope you know the God that Blake and Libby and I know.  I pray that you'll seek this peace that passes all understanding as you watch them grieve but not as ones without hope. 

Sorrow

Thank you for your prayers.  Paxten's healing is now complete and she is safe in the arms of Jesus. 

Please don't stop praying.  Blake and Libby need our support in such a huge way still.  I can not even fathom driving the three hour drive home without my baby.  Knowing I'd never see her again.  This battle has been so long and so draining.  They are weary and beaten and lost as to what to do next.  My heart hurts so much.  I don't know how to be a friend to someone who has lost a baby.  I'm terrified that I'll do or say the wrong thing.  I think of what a hurt our family will be.  A constant reminder of what they had and don't now. 

I've said before.  Paxten has changed me.  But I know I'm not alone. For the last few weeks everytime I get on facebook 99% of my feed is about Pax.  Where ever I go people are asking.  Pictures of people P4P have poured in.  Our community has rallied together with fundraisers and memorials.  Paxten was here for a purpose and God counted her days out until that purpose was finished.  I'm so grateful for her gift but I hurt so bad for dear friends who were asked to be the parents of that gift.  What a huge responsibility that they handled with nothing but grace and steadfast faith, even when admitting the struggles to understand. 

As I sat down with two little 4 year olds full of questions about Pax and their concerns (are there toys in heaven?) and their confusion (mommy, can't we call her on the phone in heaven?) I was blessed by their assessment of the situation.  "Mommy we don't have to cry.  Paxten's not sick!"  So true.  And I do celebrate in her new glorified body.  But I'm sad for us here and that will carry for a long time. 

Thank you for your prayers, for your faithfulness to the Pearsons and for not letting what we've learned from Paxten fade.  

I Love.....Usher?

A while back facebook began sorting our status updates according to popular topics. In December, for example, I imagine your newsfeed often said,
                      so-and-so and 173 other friends posted about "Christmas". 

Recently I posted on facebook this status....

"The fungus has now been detected in paxtens blood and cmv levels that were holding at 150,000 have now gone over 2 million. The doctors plan on attacking the fungus hard but they do not think her kidneys will be able to handle it. Blake and Libby are crushed. Please pray that if they have to usher their little girl into Jesus' arms tonight that they have strength and peace."

Many friends and family members that have grown to love Paxten as much as we do were faithful to pass this status on through their profiles. 

What's the problem?  

Well, not long after posting the update above I got back on facebook only to find that so-and-so and 9 of my other friends had all posted about "Usher".  Usher?  Really? 100's of people across facebook are posting about Paxten and fb picks out the word usher from my post. 

Fail facebook.  Fail.

What Paxten is Teaching Me

If you're one of the literally thousands praying for Paxten, thank you.  It has been so incredible to watch the floods of prayers, verses and thoughts come pouring in through facebook, caring bridge and cards.  I get goosebumps every time I get on facebook and see that 98% of my newsfeed is people posting, and re-posting updates, pictures and prayers for little Paxten.  She is a fighter, she is defying the odds and she is holding strong. 

Paxten getting her nails painted.

The last few days have been so emotionally and spiritually draining.  There have been a few moments in Paxten's journey that have sent us running to Blake and Libby's side in tears and prayer.  The day of her diagnosis.  The day she relapsed.  The day her transplant took place.  None have been quite as scary, and felt as immanent, as what Paxten went through last weekend.  There are mornings where it felt as though I never really wasn't praying.  As though my morning was one long exhale of a prayer. I got together with Libby's sister to pray.  We prayed with our husbands.  We've sat on the couch in the dark of night, pouring out prayers. 

On our way up to the hospital with friends we took turns praying. Afterwards we started talking about how, after so many prayers, it gets hard to know what to say anymore.  I feel like I'm out of words to plead my case.  And, even more challenging.....do I pray for my will (for Paxten to be miraculously healed) or for God's will?  Sometimes I'm frightened to prayer for the Lord's will.  What if it is his will to bring Paxten to heaven with Him?  That's not where my heart is at. I don't want to pray that.  Do I pray that our wills align? 

I have to believe that just as I want my children to come to me with their desires, whatever they are, that God wants me (his child) to come to him in the same manner.  And, even though I can not give my girls every desire of their heart, I covet the intimate relationship that would give them no fear in asking.  I want that with my God.  The intimacy to ask for whatever I want.  So I've asked fearlessly, as thousands of others have.  I want Paxten.  I want her parents to know what it is to be a family free of fear of her health and of doctors and chemo, side-effects and relapses. I want them to come home to the beautiful home that my husband has been working tirelessly on and start a new chapter in a new home together.

A dear friend pointed out in Hebrews 4:16 that it says to go BOLDLY before the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. I think that in the past I've come meekly, mildly, humbly to God, laying out my petitions.  Paxten has taught me to go boldly.  To approach the throne with the aching of my heart. And it does not say that I will get what I desire but it does say that I will find mercy and grace. When I start to think, "who am I to go boldly before the Lord?" I remind myself that I have an intercessor.  That Jesus' cleansing work on the cross laid the groundwork for me to be able to come before God.  Richard Foster puts it this way: "Jesus enters his eternal work as Intercessor before the throne of God, and, as a result, I am enabled to pray with an entirely new authority. Even more: he straightens out and cleanses our feeble, misguided intercessions and makes them acceptable before a holy God. Even more still: his prayers sustain our desires to pray, urging us on and giving us hope of being heard."  Wow.

With my desires layed out there though, I also have to know that just as I parent with what is best for my children, God is doing the same with Blake, Libby and Paxten.  Paxten's healing is already guaranteed and complete.  The unknown is whether that healing will be seen here on earth or when she is called to heaven.  My heart is warmed as I read the hundreds of cheers and praises for Paxten's small victories and her strength to hold on. But, I also start to wonder when I see things like, "Our prayers are working, keep it up!"  And "God is so good!"  The thing is, God is good if Paxten pulls through but he is still just as good if Paxten doesn't.  Isn't that the point?  To cry out to a God that is so perfect that he is good in the joys and in the pain.  If Paxten had worsened or if she had been called to heaven, would our prayers have "not" worked? What does this say to the parent following along who did lose their child?  That their prayers were not effective?  Was God not good? 

So many have been profoundly changed by Paxten's journey and the steadfast faith of her mommy and daddy. I am one of them. My perspective, my tendency to take things for granted, and my prayer life. Talking with my God about my will while also praying for strength and peace to accept his.  Becoming aware of how I respond to the results of prayer. Prayer that is answered in "my will" and prayer that is answered in another way. For that I am eternally grateful for Paxten and her short 22 months.  I'm grateful for the gift of prayer, made possible by Jesus, through Christ.  I'm so happy to serve a God who is good and listens to my heart's desires even if they do not always line up with his outcomes. I pray that you know the peace that comes from pouring your heart out to the God too. 

"Intercessory prayer is the purifying bath into which the individual and the fellowship must enter every day." Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I also beg that you keep on praying for Paxten.  She is still so very sick and the road is so very long for her Blake and Libby.  I love you Pax!

P4P

I've mentioned our dear friends and their little girl Paxten before here and here. 

In the middle of the night last night poor Paxten lived out our worst nightmares.  She coded.  While she was able to be resuscitated she is still in a very dangerous place.  These are her mother's words early this morning....

"I don't even know how to start this update. Tonight Paxten was having major issues with her oxygen. It ended up dropping so low so quickly that she coded right there in bed and the nurses had to scream out for help; the emergency team rushed into the room about 10-15 people. They eventually resucitated (sp?) her but she was not able to breathe on her own so they intubated her. They took her down to the ICU and tried to hook her up to the regular ventilator but that was not working well enough so now she is on an oscillator. Her oxygen levels are still not where they need to be but they are slowly improving. Her other organs still look good at this point but her lungs are extremely sick. We are not out of the woods by any means and have an incredibly long road ahead of us. Needless to say we are in shock."

I can't even describe how hard this is to watch some of our closest friends go through.  When I think about what they witnessed and have gone through in the last 24 hours I feel like throwing up.   My heart literally hurts for them. 

A lot of my friends have talked about perspective in relation to Paxten's battle and they are so right.  While I'm discouraged by a teething baby, Blake and Libbby are happy with 10 minutes where Paxten is able to sit up.  When I'm frustrated by toys perpetually on the ground, Blake and Libby are watching their only baby girl struggle for breath. 

Beautiful things are being said for our Paxten. 

http://www.sandalonyourleftfoot.blogspot.com/

http://shockedandknockedup.blogspot.com/2012/01/sometimes-we-forget.html

http://mamalovestyle.blogspot.com/2012/01/come-boldly.html

I don't know what to say that can add to this.  If God moves your heart to reevaluate your perspective please take that moment to pray for Blake and Libby and Paxten.  They've been on this road a very long time.  They are weary and hurting and scared.  We know that Paxten's healing is guaranteed already by the gift of Jesus Christ.  We are still pleading with God that we would get to see that healing played out here on earth. 

Please pray with us.

"Let Paxten dwell in the shelter of the Most High and rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Be her refuge, her fortress, her covering, her shield.  Do not let her fear the terror of the night, nor any type of plague or sickness.  Do not let any harm or disaster come near Paxten.  Command your angels to guard her in all her ways and keep her from hurting.  When she calls on you, answer her.  Be with her in trouble; deliver her and honor her.  Satisfy Paxten with long life and show her your salvation."
Psalm 91

Prayers for Paxten

I know I've mentioned our precious little friend Paxten before here but today is another big day in her life that needs to be covered in prayer. 

After Paxten's last relapse with leukemia it was decided by her doctors that the best path for giving her a wonderful future was a stem cell transplant.  In the time since September a donor has been found, a medical team assembled and Paxten has spent the last two weeks having her body basically wiped clean inside in preparation to take on the new cells.  Tonight, around 8:30 the transplant will take place.  While the procedure itself is pretty routine for Paxten, another bag hooked up to her already overwhelming supply of things going into her body, the implications of what this could do to her are monumental.  The side effects are dangerous and painful and challenging.  There will be weeks of waiting, watching and praying that her body will take on the gift of new healthy cells.  There will be months of trying to protect a very unstable and weak immune system. 

Please, please, if you understand the power of prayer as we do, etch out some time for Paxten, Libby and Blake today.  December 4th was the one year mark for this battle.  That means that the only two Christmas' that Paxten has known have been in the hospital.  She's had tubes coming out of her for longer than she hasn't.  She thinks nurses, doctors and hospital rooms are the norm.  Her friends are all found on skype and facetime. The risks of this procedure are high.  But we are so grateful and excited for Paxten's opportunity to be free of tubes, gloves, masks and medicines.  This is her opportunity for life, please pray.  And then leave them a note telling them that you're praying! 

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/paxtenpearson/?ref=nl

We love you Paxten, Blake and Libby!!

P4P

"We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed..."  2 Corinthians 4:8-9

God has blessed us in our lives with several dear, sweet, close, Christ-seeking friends.  Blake and Libby are two of those friends.  We are so grateful that God's working brought our families together.  Our lives have been enriched by their laughter, honesty, and growth in Christ together.  We have also been so changed by a battle that they began last December, 2010.  Their sweet girl, Paxten, who was 9 months at that time was diagnosed with leukemia.  The news shook their world and ours.  We have watched them gear up for the fight of their lives and have been so proud to see them take each day with faith, prayer and hope.  Paxten was blessed for the last 9 months to have fought valiantly and successfully with her cancer.  She moved into remission relatively quickly and has been able to pass over some of the more terrible side-effects of the treatments.

Unfortunately on Monday, they received word that the cancer had returned and was found in her spinal fluid during a routine spinal tap.  Being told your baby has cancer for a second time is devastating at the least.  We cried together, prayed together and we watched this little family of three arm themselves once again for battle.  A harder longer battle than they had been enduring before. 

We know that God holds tiny Paxten's body in His hands.  He is aware of the battle raging inside of her and out of it His will will be played out.  We are praying and I'm asking you to pray too for healing.  For a miracle.  For strength.  For peace.  This is a weary family.  They are struck down.  But just as in Corinthians we know that they are not destroyed.  Please, please, pray.  Storm heaven's gates with words of love for Paxten. Pass on her story to other prayer warriors you know. 

If you would like to follow Paxten's fight or leave Libby and Blake a note of encouragement you can do so here:  http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/paxtenpearson

Remember that prayer is not the least you can do, it is the most important thing you can do.